My Ode To You

Wednesday, 27 December 2017


It's in this moment, she said goodbye to him. And goodbye to the pathetic assumptions that things will change eventually. This is my last ever thought of you. I wish you nothing but happiness. Goodbye.

CHRISTMAS DAY 2017!

Tuesday, 26 December 2017

HELLO HUMANS! I was going to vlog bits of my Christmas Day, but decided against it, so here are a few parts of my day in snaps. :)


So this was my dad's set-up for Christmas. Pretty standard, doesn't really change. However it was great! Although the food took FOREVER and I was just demanding that we just eat. The food was DELISH! However because we waited so long, we barely ate anything. 😫 But that turkey and that gravy... 😍



LOOK. AT. THAT. PROSECCO. BOTTLE. ISN'T IT GORGEOUS?!

My dad got this Prosecco diamond thingy for our Christmas meal and honestly? It took me the whole day to actually finish it! We had one big glass each and yeah. It took me forever.

I had a wonderful day. I woke up at my Mum's (early af, because I'm secretly still a child!) And then after opening presents, we had breakfast and then I got ready and went to my Dad's. I opened my presents from my dad, FaceTimed Phoebe and we opened our presents together (a cute tradition we've done for 4 years now). Then my mum picked me up and we went for some Christmas drinks at our local pub. I then got a taxi to my Nana's and spent some quality time with her, my auntie and my two younger cousins. I then got a taxi, picked my dad up from the club, went home and had food.

It was a perfect day and I loved every second of it. Here's some pictures from the day...






Aaaaand that's my Festive Post! I'll be back next week with more content! The beginning of my 2018 Healthy Lifestyle and Fitness posts will also begin soon!




Home.

Wednesday, 20 December 2017



Lyrics:
I find strength,
When I see you looking at me.

I find hope,
When I see you smiling my way.

I feel everything,
Oh baby when you say my name.

It's rare -
So rare.

But it's home.

Flicker of hope #1

Tuesday, 19 December 2017


I honestly don't know why I'm bothering. It's not like you're ever going to see this. But it's starting to get to the point where you're all I think about, and everyone thinks I'm stupid.

I know it's not healthy to fall for someone who has no idea you exist. But there's something about you. Something different. Hopefully I'll move on. But there's a voice inside my head that's telling me I won't.

My Top Songs Of 2017

Monday, 18 December 2017

Hello Humans! I hope you're all doing well!

As you may know from my previous Music Monday posts, I do love listening to music a lot in my spare time. However now that I'm taking a break from YouTube and focusing on my blog, I've decided not to do the regular "Music Monday" posts and to instead post more regularly with different content.

HOWEVER, Spotify decided to pop up a playlist dedicated to "Your Top Songs 2017", and I thought, why not share it? So here are my top songs of 2017.


Mr & Mrs Fox

Friday, 15 December 2017

Hello Humans! So today I wanted to delve into my personal bubble and share with you a few of my favourite images of my cousin's wedding in September!

On 15th September 2017, I had the honour of being part of my cousin Amy's wedding to the love of her life Jamie. I wrote a couple of blog posts last year (I'll like them as they're not on my blog - lol I need to sort that shit out), all about the planning and stuff like that. But now that it's over and the emotional roller coaster is over, Amy and I are still reeling over the big day and now that the pictures have finally been handed over, I can finally write this post.



I mean, LOOK AT THIS EFFING VIEW! Yes, this was the view from the VILLA that the wedding was held at!! HOW GORGE!

And here are a few photos that I loved from the most beautiful day this year:






















These are honestly just a few from the day. And I have the last five to share in a different post, because this was honestly the most nervous I've ever been in my entire life: my maid of honour speech.







When I first saw these pictures of me during my speech last week, I was shocked. Before this speech, when Jamie began his Groom speech and then my uncle Chris did the Father of the Bride speech; I was a literal mess. My stomach was in knots, my hands were shaking and my heart was pounding. I'm an introvert really, although my family wouldn't really ever describe me as that. Public speaking is not something I enjoy, nor do I ever volunteer to do. Even in school I hated doing projects in front of the class or even in drama performances, I'd be petrified until it was my turn. 

Look at my face in the last picture and see the actual relief of it being over. I somehow managed to conquer my fear of public speaking and why? Because my cousin/sister wanted me to do a speech for her. She asked me and I couldn't say no. So if you're ever scared of doing something, just remember: you can do it. No matter what you think and how much you think you can't: you can. 



And that is all! I hope you enjoyed my post about the best holiday ever and the most gorgeous wedding I've ever attended. 

Comment below letting me know what you think of the pictures. :)



Tuesday, 12 December 2017

She speaks a lot of soul,
For a girl who claims she's never lived.

A Hint Of Clarity.

Saturday, 9 December 2017


The numbers on my phone showed 4:35 a.m. as I lay there in the dark, annoyed at the lack of dreaming I was currently doing on my day off. But instead of laying there, thinking over my week or planning my day; I found myself thinking of my online world. It's so easy to get lost in the world of social media and uploading videos, posting blog posts. But honestly, is it even worth it? When there's no recognition for the hard work you do to get it there and the constant planning, filming and editing, Why even bother? Yes, uploading content onto YouTube isn't all about views, subscribers and comments, but honestly? A few wouldn't be too horrible, you know? I asked myself today: Who are you doing it for? Yourself? Because you seem to be falling out of love with it. And it hit me. Maybe I am.

Yes I have lists of videos I want to film (a video - finally - with my best friend that I'll definitely film just because I've wanted to do it for so long!), but at the same time, I don't have any ideas at all. I don't fit in a category. What do I really want to talk about? Because right now I really don't know.

My blog is here for me to release my soul to anyone that stumbles upon my little world, that I can't even show my growth, because I didn't bring it all over onto my new blog. But I feel like over the years, my blog is what I use as a way of expressing my opinion. And I love it. It's my baby, and I wouldn't ever not want a blog. Because even though my blog post uploads are usually quite spread out, I take time and effort to my posts. 

But as I laid there this morning, I couldn't give myself a list of pros of having online content on my channel. Maybe I'll just vlog from now on. Those are my favourites after all. And I'll only upload when content is decent enough to go up, you know? Like maybe that's what I'll do now. I don't know.


As of right now, this is my number one content. And this is where I'll post my heart and soul to. Because this is me and this is what I love.


I had a hint of clarity, and I opened it up to you.




It's OKAY To Lose Motivation!

Monday, 4 December 2017

  



Hello Humans! I wanted to do an honest blogpost about working out and how it's okay to lose motivation every once in a while.

So recently I have changed my job and also my hours. I now work 6AM - 2PM and I love it. The hours are perfect for me. So I go straight to the gym straight afterwards, so then I can go home for the night and chill until I sleep at 8:30PM. But I soon realised that even though the plan was perfect, I wasn't really doing anything. I was cutting out rounds because I had no one telling me I had to do them, and I was getting rid of exercises that I "wasn't feeling." It got to the point that I did a 20 minute WALK on the treadmill because the big studio I usually use was filled with spinning bikes and I couldn't do my workout the way I usually do. I then stormed to my car and called my dad asking him to help me get back into it.

In the last two weeks, I've been to the gym 3 times. Three. T H R E E times. And that is so bad for me usually. I like to go to the gym 4-5 times a week (depending on if I'm working weekends or not), so only going three times in the past 14 days is shocking. And once the habit of not going sinks in, then the bad eating habits also sneak back in. And today I decided: enough is enough.

Thanks to The Lean Machine's latest video I've decided to start doing my meal plans for my weekend meals as that's where I fall flat and I'll eat anything. My dad and I are "health freaks" whereas my mum is the complete opposite. She'll eat healthy but then she'll eat whatever she wants. Which is fine, but that's not how I want to be.




But at the same time, I want to write that it is okay to lose motivation every once in a while. It's okay to take time out and just have a small break. But at the same time, you need to make sure you get back on it. Two weeks ago, I fell down the stairs and went to the gym the same day. My neck was killing me and then the next day, I woke up and I could barely move my neck. I shouldn't have gone and done a weight class when I knew I wasn't 100%. But my routine says that I go to the gym on Tuesdays, so I went. I accepted on that Wednesday that I wasn't fit enough to go. And last week I was ill, so I took another week off. And they're stupid excuses, but unless your body feels 100%, why are you making yourself suffer?



So yes it's okay to lose motivation, but also remember that you need to get back on it. Remember how good it feels to be healthy and going to the gym. Slowly ease yourself back in, but just make sure you get there.

Here's The Lean Machine's video on how to stop eating junk food for a little bit of motivation:



Much love, see you again at some point this week.